WorkLoad...

Whoa...Its been so long since my last blog...Yippie...Im back. Now that im back, i have no idea what to write...HAHAHAHAHA. Okay, lame...

Its getting like busy busy busy. There is like 2 super assignments to submit and the best part, i havent started on any of it, which means im so dead and here i am blogging. Well, some people just never learn. Then there is so much to study, and guess what im doing about it....Nothing. Today's CVS interpretation made me realise that i suck at D&D and i have to study. Creeps me out sometimes so i dont usually think about it...i know, bad approach. So,Good Luck to me for that.

Then there was badminton and netball...Healthy lifestyle uh!!whooohoooo. Its like totally cool playing games to studying. But again the muscle ache after the games isnt exactly great. But its sometimes a good thing coz when i oversleep or i lie around all day, i wouldnt feel guilty. OH my god, im soooo pathetic. Again, my badminton isnt exactly great so i kinda ended up doing a painful "so call split" and it hurts like hell. But thats not gna stop me from tomorrow's badminton game with my BBFs. Thanx Pauline, for suggesting badminton, it is soooo cool. Hugs.

There one other lil' tiny thing. Im super addicted to two other tv show...Will &Grace and Brothers & Sisters. These are like the best part of the day.....wheeeee. See, im doing every other thing in the world but what i should be doing at the moment...STUDYING....Ive gotta change soon coz exams are around the corner... Okay, the word EXAM is giving goosebumps.

They Keep Us Alive....

Sometimes, some friends are god-sent. They just know something is bothering you even if u put a fake smile on your face. They know that u need someone beside you even if u say u wanna be alone. They see you beyond the mask you wear, they see the real u, the inner face of who you really are and not who u are pretending to be. They are everywhere... Sometimes it gets so annoying and you shout at them, vent your anger at them...but they just dont leave coz' they know...that its then u need them the most.
They both laugh with and at you...They tease you every chance they get... They envy your success...They annoy you...Irritate you...Make you wanna bang on the wall and bleed to death...Make lame jokes that you feel like chocking on your own vomit and die...They are probably the one who starts off the rumour between you and the guy you hate the most... They mock you on every other thing you do...They critise on the things you think you are good at...The bitch about you in front of you...They say the meanest thing right on your face...Basically they are your best enemy...
Then..The smile with you...The lend a shoulder to lean on...They tutor you so that you dont screw up your exam so that you can graduate together...They hug you for no reason...The kick your ass until you reach the finish line...They sleep over...The listen to your crap about your ex...They give remarkably bitchy look to ur ex that he feel that he wants to die at the moment... They are always there to bitch about the person you dont like...They start a fight with the person they hardly know just because he/she hurt you...The come to your house make themselves at home without you asking...They dont judge you...They pick you up from the bus station at 4am even though they have not slept for 2 days... They are your best friends...

Whoever told you best friend have to be just one person...That you need to know that person for like 6 or 7 years before you actually call them your best friend...Best friends can be of any number, as long as you can trust on them to stand up for you against the world, they are your best friends...Best friends can be found anywhere, anytime...You just need like what a few days to see that. A person whom you just met 2 days ago may care for you more than the person whom you know for 10 years...People are sooo freaking unpredictable...So, dont judge friends by the time you know them, see them for who they are. Anyone...who makes you feel like you are worth it, anoyone who makes you feel like wanna fly at that moment, anyone who brings you back on the track after a great fall, anyone who makes you feel better...is your best friend...People say its hard to get a great friend...but whats harder is to keep that friend for a lifetime... Who my best friends are?? They my BBFs(Panda, Su Ann, Pauline, Karmy, Piriya)...They are my the people i met at the worse phase of my life, my college but they made it all better (Ham, Har, Ridz, Shamu, Louise, Charu), Or rather it be my high school friends, Or my primary school friends, Or my house mate, Or my childhood friend... Whoever makes me smile just by thinking of them during my toughest times...They are my best friends...

Anyway, i started off this blog to write about a particular person...Devi...whom i met like in the beginning of last year. Well yeah the first thing i thought bout her was that she was arogant and unfriendly but then like duh i was wrong...First impression is always wrong isnt? She is my person. She is someone i'd call if i need to hide a dead body. She is someone i can share without a single moment of hesitation. I cant believe it but i can just say anything to her, like anything..from my worse, embarrasing moment to my happiest, joyful moment...coz i know she wudnt judge me. U know, sometimes, you think twice to say something...But with Devs, its just so easy...so easy to be myself with. She just knows what to say...I can trust her to give me honest opinion...If im doing someting stupid, i can expect her to walk to me, slap me and say "Meks, u r being such a jackass"...When i need someone to shut up and listen, she is the one...If i need some words of wisdom, u know,something to boost my ego...she is so the one. SHE IS MY PERSON!!!!!

~BE THE FRIEND YOU WANT OTHERS TO BE~

Home...

Its okay to be emo once in a while isnt? But sometimes, what really annoys me, or literally gets me is when the whole emo motion doesnt go away. No matter how much i try... Its like i wanna let go of it...all of it...but i just dont know where to start...what to do...who to choose...its just so hard to breath, its just sooo hard. I usually get things fixed, i dont stay confused for so long, and i dont usually regret the choices i make...But its all gone now. I'm confusing myself over things i should be ignoring,u know? One moment...its like im in this whole different world, colourful, cheerful, laughing all the way, smiling non stop,im all bright and shiny, life seems so perfect. But just the other moment, when i let my mind wonder just for a second...it all comes back. I dun know what to...i really dont know what to do...I dunno if im helpless, or sad or pathetic or desperate...maybe i should keep myself constantly busy, maybe...or maybe i just miss home. Maybe all i want is to play catch with my dog...Maybe what i really want is start a fight with my sis...Maybe i just wanna hug my mum and cry...Maybe i just wanna go home and sleep on my own bed...Maybe i should stop trying to act tough...See, im doing it again,im crapping. Gosh, i miss home...So much.

Story Time...

U, me and probably the rest of the world is longing for a good laugh when u feel that everything is falling apart...a laugh to bring u back to level...a laugh to make u forget things u dont wanna remember...a laugh which u very well deserve...a laugh to make your heart light. As god created sad, and sorrow He also created friends to be with you when u need a heart to borrow, a shoulder to lean on, or simply to make you LAUGH. Today, i laughed until my tummy literally ached. Raj, or rather McSteamyface decided (well, we kinda forced him) to have lunch with us and we all ended up not only filling our stomach with food but also filling our heart with a great memory. To tell u about Raj, well he is a great dancer..but as a person he is just a wonderful friend, he makes you forget your pain by just making you laugh for the silliest thing...The best part is he doesnt even need to say anything, he just has to sit there and do his McSteamy face and there u will be laughing your heads off till your eyes tear. Here are some pictures of us having so much fun with MrSteamyface...

So much for having fun...Now its story telling time...So, sit back, relax and let your imagination go wild. Here are casts for my story...Raj(The Hero,Husband,Boyfriend), Panda(The Heroin, Wife, Girlfriend), Piriya(The Slutty Mistress) and Pauline(The Girl Front Table)...Director(ME,duh?!!) and Producer(Karmun).

Once upon a time, there was a boy whom we all call McSteamy. I am not sure why we call him that, probably his looks which looks like a steamed fish at times or maybe its just his ability to flirt and make any girl fall for him...Whatever it may be,McSteamy never once in his phase of life stayed alone. There is always a girl with him in everything he does...including his illegal "Kongsi Gelap" dealings.

We all know the one part of McSteamy who is macho and manly...What we dont know is his other part of life whom he calls "Panda", the love of his life. Panda is the only one who can control. And thus he'd do anything...just anything for Panda. When i say anything, i mean it...Well, lets have a look at what will he do for her.

He'd eat his least favourite part of a chicken (the bone) just because Panda asks him not to waste his food and money. I know..The things people do for love...Its just awesome...

He finds his happiness in the way Panda eats and laughs. His hunger is fullfilled just by watching Panda eat. And Panda finds is unbelievably sweet. She is happy with how she gets lifted whenever she is with him.
This beautiful couple decide to get married. But what Panda does not know is being McSteamy he cannot bear being loyal...And there he goes to lunch with his slutty mistress,Pripri.

They couldnt agree on what to order becasuse he doesnt agree with anyone except his wife, Panda. So, Pripri is a little annoyed but she cant do much as she is just the mistress.

So, just to please him, she orders what he wanted with a fake smile on her face. After all, its not food she wants from him. Its his money...The things people do for money...So disgusting...
As they ordered, Panda who happen to have lunch in the same place with her old friends found them closely, intimately laughing and smiling decided to check out what really is going n and she decided to join them for lunch.

McSteamy is constantly checking on Panda to see if she has by any chance found out the truth. Panda puts on her fake smile and there is Pripri with her slutty look.

Panda is remotely crying as she pripri accidently bluttered the disgusting relationship she has with McSteamy and McSteamy is stuck in between and not knowing what to do, he shuts his ears. He just couldnt bear the sound of Panda crying.

He was not ready to let go of Panda so the rest of the lunch he tried to win her heart back. How he does it? Lets have a look.

His first try has failed tremendously and it almost earned him a slap. C'mmonla, Panda has some dignity. She couldnt possibly fall for his first act...

Panda's first reaction scared the hell out of McSteamy and Panda still seem a little ...ermmm lot more upset. So, he needed to try harder....He after all ate chicken bone for her, he can do this....

So, he tried giving her his heart while she was drinking her soup. But that didnt seem to work either.

So, being the usual dumb guy, he tried ignoring her for a while...but Panda dont seem to be melted at all(see, she has the whatever look on her face)...His third try failed again. And there is pri pri having her michief laugh thinking that she could have him all by herself...

So he tried the old fashioned way. He leaned towards the girl sitting on the front table, and flirted with her so that Panda would get jealous and come back to him. That almost worked...

Panda is a little more sober now. And all she needs to know now is if he really wants her back or is he gonna hurt her again. McSteamy is thinking of how to mmake Panda believe that he could be truthful. And Pripri seem to be thinking of breaking their marriage. Evil... And not knowing what to do, he tried kissing Panda when she wasnt looking. This is the only way to show her that he tuly loves her, and there is absolutely no place for anyone else in his heart but her.Whoa! That worked. Panda is finally laughing and McSteamy was happy and annoyed at the same time coz all it took was a kiss to make their marriage work. Now he knows, what true love is...He deeply and truly was sorry for being such a jerk and he apologised in the cutest way possible and Panda forgived him with a smile and accepted him again. Pri-pri and her evil plans has failed as true love will always find triumph.Pri-pri was really sorry for being such aa ass and she apologised to Panda, and being a soft hearted and sober wife, she forgived her and they enjoyed the rest of their lunch with loads of laugter and happiness was once again found...McSteamy and Panda lived happily ever after.

This story is dedicated to Raj as a token of laughter and acceptance for having the very first outing with us. To Karmun for giving the idea to write a story about today's lunch hour. And to Pauline for givng us the support we needed. Thank you to Panda and Piriya for participating in this story with loads of funny reactions....

Pain...

Pain...We all complain of pain, how much it hurts to hold on, how much it hurts to let go, how much it hurts to be alone, how much it hurts to wait...So, we tear when we are hurt thinking that it s the answer. We feel better for a while, then it pain arises all over again. We run, run and run to the opposite direction because we are all afraid of being hurt, we are human for goodness sake, we were designed to be afraid of pain. Never once stop and thought maybe pain comes for a reason, for a purpose, to show you something you never knew all these while...The hardest thing we can say to anyone, no matter how close we are, is that we are hurt, and we are in pain. I am in pain...You are in pain...We all are...Our only common ground is pain.

Pain comes in our lives like a thunderstorm and brings so much of damage to our heart that once its all over, a part of us feels so heavy to share...A piece of of heart is ripped off and never to be patched again...We just cant see the light after that...So afraid to look back in case our past is staring back at us...The thing is people, the thing is, pain comes for a reason. There's always rain after the thunderstorm. Is just that, we are so driven away with the pain, we fail to see the true reason pain comes. Only by feeling the true pain, we learn to be sober...only by pain, we learn to stand up...only by pain, we learn to walk forward...Its only because of pain, we are strong. It gives us so much strength to hold on to the things we deserve, and the strength to let go of the things we just couldnt have...

The fact is pain is what made me grow. Its because i fell down once, i am standing now. Its because i screwed up once, i know better now. Its because i had lousy friends once, i know who true friends are now. Its because i cried once, i now know when to stop. Its because i crumbled once, i am determined now. Its because i was in pain, i am strong now. "Every pain comes with equal strength to face something greater in life"

Everytime we wanna let go of something, its like we are staring back at the past to move forward. Sometimes, there are pangs in our heart bringing us back to where it all starts, bringing us down, make us weak to fight to let go. As some people say, it needs fairly more strength to let go than to hold on. But, no matter how hard it may be...how much pain i have to hold before i see the light...how much the pain brings me down...I shall fight. Coz' i deserve better...and coz' i believe pain comes to make me stronger, preparing me for the greater battle in future. I'm letting it go...I'm sick of crying...I'm tired with tears...I'm done complaining...I'm so gonna be over the pain coz im strong and pain dont come to destroy, it comes to show how strong i really am. So i am gonna show it. You should too...So, when you are finally up, done crying, and ready to stare at the future to say "Bring It On", give you self a pat on ur back and a well-deserved smile because you are that much closer to success.